Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
