i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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