Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
