you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
