Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
