Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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