Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
