Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
