TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Someone stole a lamp last night.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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