actually, I'm a sock model
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
