very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My vagina just clenched in fear
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
