try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
