It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
