What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The air was thick with penises
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
