I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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