quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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