Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
