I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
