you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
