Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just pee around me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
