Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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