Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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