dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
