I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
