I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
