So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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