So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
