Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
