No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
