pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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