found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
