I heard we made out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
