Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
