HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
