whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
