from now on my penis is your penis
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
