It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
