I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
