I just pynch a tree in the face
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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