What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
