They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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