I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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