Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
