i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
