that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
