And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
