She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
