I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
