Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
