By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
