I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
