well you can't waste a boner
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
