Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
