i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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