Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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