Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
