I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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