Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
