The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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