we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm like, not good at living.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
